I wrestled in high school. I was pretty good. Not great, but better than most. Wrestling is one of the sports that you love and hate at the same time. You love that it’s one of the most physical demanding things because it makes you feel super hardcore but you also hate that it’s so demanding and you just want it to end. You love how good you look while you do it but you hate that you have to cut weight. If you are wrestling in high school now and reading this know that you will miss it when it’s gone. I never thought I would say that, but I do miss wrestling.
Highschool wrestling matches are three periods and each of those periods are two minutes. There is no harder 6 minutes in sports and if you want to argue that then you obviously haven’t tried to wrestle someone for 6 straight minutes, but that is not the point of this post.
Here is how a full match usually goes.
Before it starts : You’re pumped up and ready to go.
1st Period : LET’S DO THIS!!!!!
2nd Period : You don’t know if you are going to make it and you find yourself thinking, “Why am I doing this? My face is cut up, I have lost 15 lbs. I am constantly hanging out with gross, sweaty guys. I haven’t gone out with my friends in weeks. I am wearing spandex. Why I am wrestling? This was a stupid idea. Next year I am going to play basketball or even better yet do nothing at all. I just want this to end.”
3rd Period : I am so close to the end. I can make it.
After the match if you win : I love this sport. I want to get better.
After the match if you lose : I hate this sport. I need to get better.
Life has second periods, lots of them and I find myself currently in one. It’s the time of life that doubt starts to sneak it. Right now it’s my second period in business and more specifically the store. Things started off great and were exciting and then came the holidays which are awesome, but now it’s January and sales are slow, while bills are still high. It’s the second period and I have two options.
1. I can tap out and quit. Say something like, “It’s the economy.” or “It just wasn’t working out.”
or
2. I can keep wrestling and hopefully make it to the 3rd period.
The nice thing about wrestling is that the second period was only 2 minutes no matter what, but it’s not like that in business or life. Sometimes we can be in the second period for weeks, months or years and the third period or finish line might seem so unreachable. It’s times like this where faith in God really matters. The second period is what separates the winners from the losers. It showed you who is going to grit it out and push through the pain, exhaustion and suffering and who is going to quit.
While you are in the second period it is awful and you find yourself thinking that nothing good will ever come from this but you’re wrong. Good things will always come to those who push through adversary. Even if I end up failing and the store closes I will have shown to myself, my family, my wife and my God that I believed and pushed through the second period. That I am not a quitter and that in the end all I could do was my best.
When you own a business you’re tendency is to always paint a very beautiful picture about how things are going so your clients don’t get scared but it’s not always like that and I think that’s okay. If you were to speak with anyone who is super successful they would be the first to tell you, but I think they would also tell you that those times were when they learned the most.
If you are out there and you are currently in the second period of life and wondering what’s the point or thinking about quitting. Don’t! Keep wrestling, keep believing and keep moving on because the third period is coming and you can make it.
One of the newest things to me is having a team. We have a walk in love. team and a Brooke Courtney team. I am going to focus on the walk in love. team and how we ended up with these eight awesome people.
When we decided to open the store we weren’t really worried about whether people had computer skills, could work the register or knew how to fold a shirt correctly. Those are all things that we could teach. We wanted passion, energy and excitement! We wanted people who loved the brand and wanted to see it grow. Here is how we got those people.
We needed around 8 people to staff the store.
First we asked 3 of the people who worked at the kiosk the year before – Mike (my brother), Matt (the first walk in love. intern) and Maddie (who I’ve known since she was 6 years old).
Then my best friend, Jeff, asked if he could have one of the jobs. He was tired of working at his other job and was ready for a change. So we said, Yes!
Then we posted an application online for the 5 positions we had left and were greeted with over 100 applications.
So Mike, Brooke and I looked through them and narrowed it down to about 30 based off whether they fit our brand. We were looking for excited, young and happy people to join our team.
Then we thought about sitting down with 30 different people and having them all regurgitate the same answers on why they were perfect for the job and blah blah blah. Not my idea of an exciting Saturday.
So instead Brooke and I decided to have a party at our house and invite the current team of 4, some other friends and all 30 potential team members. We wanted to see how they interacted with each other and with other people.
I won’t go into the details of the party, but after it was over the team came to almost unanimous decisions on who would be a good fit and who wouldn’t. We were all in on 3 people so I offered them all a job and they accepted. Two of them – Drew and Gina still work at the store.
Then there was one other person at the party that I was on the fence about. I heard peoples opinions on her but it came down to me to make the decision and I had to trust my gut so I asked our last team member Kristen to be on the team and I couldn’t be happier with that desicion.
I love our team. I love their energy and passion. I love that I can trust them and I love that I didn’t just look for people who gave me the right answers. Yes, sometimes I am so frustrated with our team members, but in the end I know that each one of them is passionate about walk in love. I know that they will do their very best to represent the brand and to live out our message in public.
I think whenever you are hiring or building a team look for passion first and skill second. When we asked Maddie to be the intern for the Brooke Courtney team she didn’t know much about photography but we knew she had a passion for it. Skills and technique will come with coaching and practice, but passion will not.
Brooke and I had the privilege of shooting a wedding in Jamaica this past week. When we booked the wedding I thought it would be good to add on a few days after shooting for some vacation time. We have only been on one short vacation since our honeymoon and I thought it would be really good for us to get away and unplug, but I had no idea how good it would end up being.
I only used my phone as a camera, didn’t sign up for wifi and beside shooting the wedding set no agenda for the week. It only took me about 3o minutes of laying in the hot tub on the first night we arrived to realize that I needed this. While 2011 had been an amazing year of growth and excitement, it had also been non-stop. Always moving, always working, always answering some question about the store, a wedding or what I needed to do today. If you have spent any amount of time going to church I am sure you’ve heard the sermon about “being still and knowing God is God.” Normally those sermons end with 5 minutes of awkward silent time when all I can think about is what I want for lunch (usually pizza) or what football game is on later (Go Niners!). It’s hard to force still moments. Our brains are crazy, they never stop and I feel like mine has been on overload for the past year with all the newness of 2011, but stillness is so good and while laying in that hot tub I was reminded of that goodness.
I spent the week reading EntreLeader by Dave Ramsey. I am only on the second chapter because after about every paragraph I have to put the book down and really think about what he is saying and how I can apply it to the walk in love. team, the Brooke Courtney Photography team, my family, relationships, my house and so on. So far the book has been a lot about goals and vision. I am not much of a reader and even less of a writer but during this vacation I really fell in love with the idea of writing my goals down. Writing them down made them feel so real and permanent, like I had to push to make them happen, like if I didn’t try everything in my power to reach them I would be failing. So I wrote personal goals, business goals, relationship goals, house goals and even refreshing goals. I initially thought that writing them down would be somewhat stressful, like a long and impossible to-do list that would only end up making me stressed but as I inked the goals in my moleskine I felt a feeling that I haven’t felt in a while. I felt refreshed.
In business I feel like it’s go, go, go and make small changes along the way, but never stop. You must never stop or you will lose a client, a step or not reach the next mark. With that attitude there isn’t a lot of time for feeling refreshed and refocused, but as I marked my journal with goals that’s exactly how I felt. I felt that while I have been successful I have lost my way a bit. Now I don’t mean anything illegal or immoral, but just unfocused on why I do what I do. It was mostly little things, like how I can better incorporate our team in things and build better, fuller relationships with our clients and customers. Things that can’t be fixed by a meeting or a brainstorming session, but only by a shift in thinking, a refocusing.
The tricky part about feeling refocused is about making it actually happen in real life. I am not in Jamaica anymore and I came home to hundreds of e-mails, questions and to-dos. I still have the daily to-do list, but when you write your goals down and look through that lens as you check things off, change will happen. Today, as I answered my first 50 e-mails, I kept thinking about establishing a better, closer, more genuine relationship with our clients or potential clients (one of my goals). I tried to explain myself better or read their inquiry with more attention so I wouldn’t miss anything.
As I think about what needs to happen at the store I am asking myself if there is one specific team member that could help. Is there a team member with a certain skill set or passion that can help with this task because one of my goals is to create an even closer team.
I was really excited to get home after this week. I was excited to feel refreshed about what is going on in my life. If you are anything like me you probably think that a couple hours, a day or a week off to refocus will just cause you more stress about what you are falling behind on. That is what I thought. I even told Brooke before we left I should have just booked the trip to shoot the wedding and come home, but I am so thankful that I added on those extra days. I am so thankful because I was able to spend some time being still, writing goals and refocusing why I am here and why I have been blessed with what is in front of me. It feels good to be refreshed and I encourage you to schedule or force yourself to take some time to do the same.
Currently in my life I have two very different businesses – walk in love, a retail store, is open every day. Everyday I have 3-4 out of 8 employees working at some point in the day. I do have an awesome manager, my brother, who handles the day to day, which is incredible. You can never underestimate the power of great employees, but I am still responsible for quite a bit. I have to make sure that it’s running smoothly and that product is coming in at the right time in the right amounts. So while walk in love. is daily, it’s also a couple of months in advance. We are currently planning Christmas- so it’s today, but also the next couple of months.
Brooke Courtney Photography is very different. It’s today, this week and next year. Today we need to make sure that our clients questions answered, photos are being edited and things are running smoothly. This week we need to make sure that we have all our wedding and portrait details finalized, our camera gear ready and travel directions. Next year we need to make sure that we are booking enough dates so we don’t have to get jobs at Starbucks (although we love Starbucks).
So, if you asked me if I feel like I am busy I would say, “Yes…but no.” Yes, because the next free date on our calendar is September 25th. Yes, because we have Smilebooth events for the next 6 weekends before a break. Yes, because we have 4 weddings in the next 6 weeks. Yes, because our shirts coming out at Christmas need to be designed…..but still no. I am not busy because I enjoy the little things. I enjoy the house that I live in, I enjoy the cats we have, I enjoy the beautiful wife I have from her head all the way down to her toes (see photos above). I don’t allow myself to choose busyness over enjoying life or use “being busy” as an excuse. I choose daily to be productive, to be energetic and to be excited about what I have to do. I also choose to make time for the things that matter to me. I try to see my mom once a week even if it’s for 5 minutes because that matters to me. I make time to exercise because I don’t like feeling fat. I make time for video games because it relaxes me. The list goes on and on.
I know a few people who say, “I am really busy” a lot and most of the time I just want to say, “bulls**t.” I feel like most people who say that are using it as an excuse because they don’t want to admit to themselves that they could be living a better life, a more full life.
I love the way the message says Ephesians 5:11
“Don’t waste your time on useless work, mere busywork, the barren pursuits of darkness. Expose these things for the sham they are. It’s a scandal when people waste their lives on things they must do in the darkness where no one will see. Rip the cover off those frauds and see how attractive they look in the light of Christ. Wake up from your sleep, Climb out of your coffins; Christ will show you the light! So watch your step. Use your head. Make the most of every chance you get. These are desperate times!”
Don’t use the excuse of busyness or the useless things that are making you busy to waste your life. There is so much more to live for. It doesn’t mean you have to climb a mountain, it just means do something that matters to you and matters to God. For me it’s enjoying the little things.
Money is a funny topic. As soon as you bring up money with most people they start to freak out and get nervous. Something I usually say to someone when they try to pay me back for the coffee is, “Don’t worry about it, I am really rich.” Brooke doesn’t like when I say it because she thinks people think I am serious. Brooke and I are not really rich. We are very well off compared to most people our age but we aren’t upper class by any means. I am talking about my personal financial situation, is it making you nervous?
About a year ago I was re-reading Donald Miller’s book Blue Like Jazz. It’s easily one of my favorite books of all time. It’s probably one of the only books I’ve read twice. Donald has this really great chapter in that book about money and how about he wasn’t giving money to God and his friend really convicted him to do so. As I was reading about Donald not giving I really felt convicted that I had not been doing much with my money in terms of giving. I would throw a check into the offering every now and then and I have a Compassion kid but I still felt like that wasn’t enough. I wasn’t consistent in my giving at all. I was giving out of guilt and as I was reading that chapter I knew that something had to change.
So a little over a year ago I told Brooke that we needed to get better at giving, but it was mostly on me since I handle the bills and finances. Brooke and I don’t get regular paychecks every two weeks like most people. We get paid as we work for wedding, portraits, t-shirts and so on so I decided that I would handle all our giving in cash. So every time I received a check I would take it to the bank, deposit it and take 10% out in cash. I would put the cash in a bucket in our office and take it with us when we went to church. The amount of freedom that comes with trusting God with your money is so rewarding. Yes, giving away 10% of your money is hard and sometimes nerve racking, but it is also such a bold act of faith. Since we’ve started trusting God with our finances in a real way we’ve been able to see miracles take place within our financial situation. It’s awesome.
So after about 7 months of giving 10% of all that way made away to our church I felt like I could do more. That’s the cool thing about giving, it inspires more giving within yourself and hopefully to others who notice. So at 7 months into tithing I decided that I wanted to start to give 5% of our money away to people we know. This is the type of giving that really excites me. Now I love giving money to the church and we have continued to do that but we’ve also started taking an additional 5% out of what we make and putting it in another jar. We call it the “5% Jar.”
The only rule for the 5% Jar is that we have to use the money to bless someone in a way that they wouldn’t expect it. Our favorite way to do this is by leaving big tips for people. We’ve tipped our hairdresser with it, we’ve bought pizza for the employees, we’ve just given it away. It’s so cool to randomly bless people. We truly believe that God guides the 5% Jar and are constantly trying to use it on people who could use a little life bonus. It’s not charity, it’s not something we give to people while thinking “We think you could use this.” We give it to them with the mindset of “Enjoy this, go out to eat, enjoy something you normally don’t enjoy.”
A 5% Jar recipient e-mailed us after she received her gift with this
I have been meaning to send you this for weeks now! I cannot begin to thank you for your card & money! It seriously could not have come at a better time! It really means so much to us! Life has been so crazy! What an awesome idea that you guys have blessing people like that!! You guys are awesome, I look up to you both so much and am so thankful to know you both!
I read that e-mail when I am struggling with taking out that cash and trusting God with our financial situation. His love is enough and He will see us through.
Now why I am sharing all this? I am not trying to brag about how I give I am just trying to make it real for the people who struggle to give like I once did. I think sometimes we can hold on to our money and things so tightly that they start to suffocate us. We need to loosen the grip and start to give it away. Giving takes practice, self-control and discipline. It also takes a plan. Don’t be like I was and give when you feel guilty. Set a number in your head. For me it is 10% // 5% but maybe that is too much for you to start. Maybe you can start with 1%. Whatever you do, the most important thing to do is to start because if you don’t start somewhere you never will. If you don’t give when bills are tight you won’t give when they aren’t. Also, there are so many great churches and non-profits out there that need your money way more than you do.
Something I think about a lot is this. Can I live with 15% less? If 15% of all my stuff was wiped out right away, would I survive? The answer is always yes. I hear stories about people who give away 80-90% of all they own and while I am not there I hope to be someday.