There is a scene in the movie The Hunger Games where Effie Trinket reaches in to a bowl of tribute names and picks out the name Primrose Everdeen. It is at that moment that Catnice Everdeen, her older sister, jumps up and screams, "I volunteer, I volunteer as tribute." You can see it here in the trailer. Every time I see that scene in the trailer my eyes fill with tears because it is the essence of sacrificial love. Something that we rarely see in our selfish world today. It is with this type of love that Jesus went to the cross with, but instead of sacrificing himself for one he did it for all. He saw that all our names were going to be drawn and they were all tainted and covered with sin. He knew that the only way to remove that sin and give us a chance for eternal life was sacrifice. So he stepped out of the crowd and yelled, "I volunteer, I volunteer as tribute." He did it for you and he did it for me.
2011 : The Year of New
I know this blog is covered in digital cobwebs since I haven't posted anything in a while. This is my year end recap that I posted to Brooke Courtney Photography. It explains why. One of my goals in 2012 is to write more so this blog should have a lot more posts! Last year, I wrote a year end re-cap about 2010 being the best year of my life. While this year certainly topped last year, it was a very different type of year. 2011 was the year of new. Brooke and I did a lot of things for the first time, with the two biggest things being opening a store and opening up Brooke Courtney Photography to a team. These two changes have taught me some very important lessons and I thought that I would share those with you. This post is especially for you entrepreneurs, leaders, visionaries and managers out there.
1. Stress : I found out this year that I was doing too much. I found myself not spending time with Brooke, my family and myself. Now I didn't just lock myself in a room and work away like Quasimodo in the bell tower, but looking back I wish that I spent some more time doing things that really bring joy to my heart. This year I am having monthly projects - things I want to do that don't have anything to do with work, like organize the garage, making shelves for the closet and so on. They aren't big visionary things, but they are things that I keep putting off, things that I know when done, will make life feel more full and Brooke super happy. I think that if I would have spent more time doing those things I would have stressed less about money, timing, employees and logistics.
2. Patience : I thought that the store would open, millions of people would flock to it and I would sleep on a yacht for the rest of my life.....not really. I don't like boats. But! I did think that as soon as the doors to the store flung open all my work would pay off, and then I learned a little bit about patience. The store is doing well, but I think I had false hopes to how fast it would grow. I've learned that the work isnt' done, that doing something big and great doesn't happen overnight and takes time, work and that magical word I have no time for - patience. I've also learned that with patience comes commitment. I've had to ask myself, "How big do you want to see these businesses get? and Are you willing to wait however long it takes to get there?" If you can't say yes to the latter then what are you doing in business?
3. Team Members : This year we added two team members to the photography team and an intern. We added nine (for the first time ever!) in the walk in love. store. We now have one photography team member and two interns on the BC team - and seven team members at the store. When growing your business and adding team members (we call them team members because employees just work for a paycheck, team members work to make things better) things become a lot more challenging. Brooke and I were so use to doing things our way and we figured out quickly that you couldn't just add extra people to that and expect them to jump right in and be exactly where we are. We have found, through trial and error, how to work with our team members, which include some of our best friends and family. It's taking time, open communication and patience to have a team - and those are three things that would not be listed under my strengths. Naturally, this has been one of the hardest parts of the year for me. We've lost a team member from Brooke Courtney and that was hard to take. We felt like a family member was leaving, but like all things, we have to learn from it. We have to choose to be better and with a new intern coming this summer we will have the ability to do just that. The store also lost two team members, but something the store did this year was amazing - it brought a relative group of strangers together, it gave us a common ground to know each other and share with each other. Three of my best friends work at walk in love. and one of them works at both. That is amazing. Having a team is hard and it requires a lot patience, listening and understanding, but mostly it requires trust. I have to trust every day that whoever is working at the store or shooting a wedding is doing a great job and that is hard to do, but worth it.
4. Strength: It is there. There were a few experiences that really stretched me this year and made me question if I could do all this, if I could keep it up. The main one was having the store move. I remember getting the phone call (telling us we had 30 days to relocate our entire store) and instantly feeling like I was going to throw-up. I remember thinking that the dream was over - the store would move, people wouldn't find us and all the work, money and sweat we put into it would be for nothing. I thought that I was going to end up a failure and my friends and family would abandon me. I know a lot of that is not logical, but it's what accompanied that news. I didn't think we could do it - lose money on our first location, move and catch up - but that's when I found it. The strength. I found it within, through the power of God, that I could push through this horrible news and overcome. Strength was shown to me in the most by my Aunt Helen. From the time we heard the news to the time we had to move, my cousin Carmen died in an accident. She had just graduated high school and was on vacation with her family when it happened. It came as a shock to our entire family. Funeral plans were made and we all traveled to western Pennsylvania to say our goodbyes. It was here, when I watched my Aunt Helen take to the microphone, that I learned a little bit about strength. Listening to my Aunt say goodbye to her daughter and then watching her sing "It is well with my soul" was the most valiant act of strength I have ever seen in my life. It was that amazingly, powerful display of strength and courage that has showed me it is possible to push through. I am not trying to compare the moving of a store to the loss of a daughter, but what Aunt Helen put on display was empowering and incredible. It is that type of strength that comes through Christ and his spirit and when I remind myself of it, I am overwhelmed with courage.
5. Tomorrow : There were times this year that we were ready to give up, that we couldn't go on, but that's when were reminded of tomorrow. Tomorrow is coming and with tomorrow comes hope, new dreams and a new chance. I hope that if you are out there in a hard place, trying to make it you would never forget that. Tomorrow is coming and there is always hope.
These are the hands.
These are the hands, young and strong and vibrant with love, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as he promises to love you all the days of his life.
These are the hands you will place with expectant joy against your stomach, until he too, feels his child stir within your womb.
These are the hands that look so large and clumsy, yet will be so gentle as he holds your baby for the first time.
These are the hands that will work long hours for you and your new family.
These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of happiness.
These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes: tears of sorrow and tears of joy.
These are the hands that will comfort you in illness, and hold you when fear or grief rack your mind.
These are the hands that will tenderly lift your chin and brush your cheek as they raise your face to look into his eyes: eyes that are filled completely with his overwhelming love and desire for you.
And then had the groom hold the hands of his bride and read this,
These are the hands that are smooth, young, and carefree, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as she pledges her love and commitment to you all the days of her life.
These are the hands that will hold each child in tender love, soothing them through illness and hurts, supporting and encouraging them along the way, and knowing when it's time to let go.
These are the hands that will massage tension from your neck and back in the evenings, after you've both had a long hard day.
These are the hands that will hold you tight as you struggle through difficult times.
They are the hands that will comfort you when you are sick or console you when you are grieving.
These are the hands that will passionately love you and chrish you through the years, for a lifetime of happiness.
These are the hands that will hold you in joy and excitement and hope, each time she tells you that you are to have another child; that together you have created a new life.
Perhaps these are the hands that will comfort you when you are told you cannot have a child, and will convince you that together you will create new life in other ways.
These are the hands that will give you support as she encourages you to chase down your dreams. Together, as a team, everything you wish for can be realized.
Now you may have seen this at a wedding and I am not totally sure that this was the first wedding I've seen it at but for some reason it had quite the impact on me. As I stood there and shot photos while the pastor said these words I couldn't help but think of my wife's hands. I thought about how much they do for me out of love, how graceful they are, how talented they are and how they are totally hers yet she so freely uses them to help me. I've been married over two years now and every day I have some sort of realization that I am just scratching the surface of understanding what love is and that day as I heard those words and a few days later as I took these pictures I am overwhelmed by the power of love so simply displayed by my wife's hands.
Enjoying the little things
Brooke Courtney Photography is very different. It's today, this week and next year. Today we need to make sure that our clients questions answered, photos are being edited and things are running smoothly. This week we need to make sure that we have all our wedding and portrait details finalized, our camera gear ready and travel directions. Next year we need to make sure that we are booking enough dates so we don't have to get jobs at Starbucks (although we love Starbucks).
So, if you asked me if I feel like I am busy I would say, "Yes...but no." Yes, because the next free date on our calendar is September 25th. Yes, because we have Smilebooth events for the next 6 weekends before a break. Yes, because we have 4 weddings in the next 6 weeks. Yes, because our shirts coming out at Christmas need to be designed.....but still no. I am not busy because I enjoy the little things. I enjoy the house that I live in, I enjoy the cats we have, I enjoy the beautiful wife I have from her head all the way down to her toes (see photos above). I don't allow myself to choose busyness over enjoying life or use "being busy" as an excuse. I choose daily to be productive, to be energetic and to be excited about what I have to do. I also choose to make time for the things that matter to me. I try to see my mom once a week even if it's for 5 minutes because that matters to me. I make time to exercise because I don't like feeling fat. I make time for video games because it relaxes me. The list goes on and on.
I know a few people who say, "I am really busy" a lot and most of the time I just want to say, "bulls**t." I feel like most people who say that are using it as an excuse because they don't want to admit to themselves that they could be living a better life, a more full life.
I love the way the message says Ephesians 5:11
"Don't waste your time on useless work, mere busywork, the barren pursuits of darkness. Expose these things for the sham they are. It's a scandal when people waste their lives on things they must do in the darkness where no one will see. Rip the cover off those frauds and see how attractive they look in the light of Christ. Wake up from your sleep, Climb out of your coffins; Christ will show you the light! So watch your step. Use your head. Make the most of every chance you get. These are desperate times!"
Don't use the excuse of busyness or the useless things that are making you busy to waste your life. There is so much more to live for. It doesn't mean you have to climb a mountain, it just means do something that matters to you and matters to God. For me it's enjoying the little things.
10% // 5%
Money is a funny topic. As soon as you bring up money with most people they start to freak out and get nervous. Something I usually say to someone when they try to pay me back for the coffee is, "Don't worry about it, I am really rich." Brooke doesn't like when I say it because she thinks people think I am serious. Brooke and I are not really rich. We are very well off compared to most people our age but we aren't upper class by any means. I am talking about my personal financial situation, is it making you nervous? About a year ago I was re-reading Donald Miller's book Blue Like Jazz. It's easily one of my favorite books of all time. It's probably one of the only books I've read twice. Donald has this really great chapter in that book about money and how about he wasn't giving money to God and his friend really convicted him to do so. As I was reading about Donald not giving I really felt convicted that I had not been doing much with my money in terms of giving. I would throw a check into the offering every now and then and I have a Compassion kid but I still felt like that wasn't enough. I wasn't consistent in my giving at all. I was giving out of guilt and as I was reading that chapter I knew that something had to change.
So a little over a year ago I told Brooke that we needed to get better at giving, but it was mostly on me since I handle the bills and finances. Brooke and I don't get regular paychecks every two weeks like most people. We get paid as we work for wedding, portraits, t-shirts and so on so I decided that I would handle all our giving in cash. So every time I received a check I would take it to the bank, deposit it and take 10% out in cash. I would put the cash in a bucket in our office and take it with us when we went to church. The amount of freedom that comes with trusting God with your money is so rewarding. Yes, giving away 10% of your money is hard and sometimes nerve racking, but it is also such a bold act of faith. Since we've started trusting God with our finances in a real way we've been able to see miracles take place within our financial situation. It's awesome.
So after about 7 months of giving 10% of all that way made away to our church I felt like I could do more. That's the cool thing about giving, it inspires more giving within yourself and hopefully to others who notice. So at 7 months into tithing I decided that I wanted to start to give 5% of our money away to people we know. This is the type of giving that really excites me. Now I love giving money to the church and we have continued to do that but we've also started taking an additional 5% out of what we make and putting it in another jar. We call it the "5% Jar."
The only rule for the 5% Jar is that we have to use the money to bless someone in a way that they wouldn't expect it. Our favorite way to do this is by leaving big tips for people. We've tipped our hairdresser with it, we've bought pizza for the employees, we've just given it away. It's so cool to randomly bless people. We truly believe that God guides the 5% Jar and are constantly trying to use it on people who could use a little life bonus. It's not charity, it's not something we give to people while thinking "We think you could use this." We give it to them with the mindset of "Enjoy this, go out to eat, enjoy something you normally don't enjoy."
A 5% Jar recipient e-mailed us after she received her gift with this
I have been meaning to send you this for weeks now! I cannot begin to thank you for your card & money! It seriously could not have come at a better time! It really means so much to us! Life has been so crazy! What an awesome idea that you guys have blessing people like that!! You guys are awesome, I look up to you both so much and am so thankful to know you both!
I read that e-mail when I am struggling with taking out that cash and trusting God with our financial situation. His love is enough and He will see us through.
Now why I am sharing all this? I am not trying to brag about how I give I am just trying to make it real for the people who struggle to give like I once did. I think sometimes we can hold on to our money and things so tightly that they start to suffocate us. We need to loosen the grip and start to give it away. Giving takes practice, self-control and discipline. It also takes a plan. Don't be like I was and give when you feel guilty. Set a number in your head. For me it is 10% // 5% but maybe that is too much for you to start. Maybe you can start with 1%. Whatever you do, the most important thing to do is to start because if you don't start somewhere you never will. If you don't give when bills are tight you won't give when they aren't. Also, there are so many great churches and non-profits out there that need your money way more than you do.
Something I think about a lot is this. Can I live with 15% less? If 15% of all my stuff was wiped out right away, would I survive? The answer is always yes. I hear stories about people who give away 80-90% of all they own and while I am not there I hope to be someday.
Education, Execution and Dedication (with some crying mixed in)
I was writing a post called with this same title and just recently added "with some crying mixed in" after certain events that have happened in the past 2 1/2 weeks. This is my advice to all the aspiring small business owners out there. Education : When I look back on the history of walk in love. and Brooke Courtney Photography (the two buisnesses my wife and I own) this is the step that I really wish I would have used more. If you are out there thinking that "all you need is a website or a camera" and then I will make tons of money you couldn't be more wrong. Those two things will help you make money but they are not the answer to the question "How do I get started?"
The answer to that questions is education. I don't mean go and get a business degree or anyhing like that. I don't have a business degree. It just means that before you take the plunge into the small business world make sure you are educated on your field of interest. When I started selling shirts I started with these terrible Gildan shirts that were so ugly and uncomfortable. I just wanted to sell shirts so it's the first one I picked out. Looking back I wish I would have educated myself on the styles, builds and brands of blank shirts out there. Instead I jumped in thinking "it's just a t-shirt." So often I see friends and other aspiring small business owners skip this education step thinking, "if they can do it so can I." If you educate yourself on what you want to do, whether it's photography, design, clothing or selling sports memorabilia you are instantly giving yourself a leg up on all the people who are just starting with no thought at all. I wish I could go back sometimes and start walk in love. with more education.
Also, ask for help! There is so much knowledge at our fingertips with the internet and there are so many good business men and women out there that are willing to share their story with you. Brooke and I decided very early on that we weren't going to hoard our secrets. We love helping aspiring business owners grow and mature with what we've learned over the years (mostly from mistakes.) Also if you are really serious about going into business for yourself read the book "Crush it" by Gary Vaynerkchuk
Execution: After you are done educating your pants off you better bring it. Owning, running and growing a small business takes execution. Don't expect to open the web store or launch your website and watch your bank account rise without doing anything. Get ready to work and work hard. I get so tired of people expecting everything without doing anything. As I grow in business I am finding that the most important place to execute is in giving your clients the best experience out there. When people come into the store I want them to feel welcomed and appreciated. I want our employees to smile, joke with and make every customer feel welcomed. I also tell them in the same breathe not to be creepers and to just let the customers shop. With photography I want our clients to feel comfortable and happy during our sessions. I want to be able to bring the stress down of a wedding day and not add to it. I am so often sickened by poor customer service to the point where I will not shop in certain places. Give your customers the greatest experience and you will create brand loyalty and word of mouth advertising, both of which cannot be bought. I am just highlighting customer services, but execution is crucial in every part of your business, but they all have their roots in giving your customers the best experience out there!
Dedication: For the first time in my life I had the thought "I wish I didn't own walk in love." For the context of this I will backtrack about 5 months.
When Brooke and I were looking into an inline store at the mall we spoke to the women that we've dealt with in the past concerning the kiosk. We knew the space we wanted and we started working out the details. Now when you are a small independent store in a mall with larger chains you don't get the same deals that they do, mostly because malls want the big brands over the little guys, which is understandable because they do so much more revenue. Anyway, our store space was leased to us a temporary tenant, which means that we have a year lease but if a permanent tenant (5 year lease/big brand name) wants the space we will be relocated. So there was risk when taking the space we did but we felt pretty secure because the mall assured us that no one was interested and the space had basically been vacant for 2 years. We felt safe taking the risk and investing money into the space. It was either take the risk or not open a store at all because we didn't have enough sales history to become a permanent tenant right off the bat.
About 2 weeks ago I received a call from the mall manager telling me that there was a permanent tenant interested in the space and it looked like we were going to have to be relocated.
It felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach as hard as they could. I felt sick. I felt like my legs had been kicked out from under me and I was falling. It was one of the worst conversations I have ever been a part of. I thought about all the time and energy we had invested in the spot we had. I thought about the fact that we would have to do that again at our new location. I thought about the investment that I would lose. Brooke and I thought we would go under before we were moved. It didn't even feel like a possibility while we were working out the details of the lease. I knew it was in there but it just felt like it wasn't possible. Like I know people get hit by lightning but I don't go around worrying about getting hit while I am outside. I felt like I was losing so much. I felt betrayed by the mall. I was mad, I was angry. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) I was at the last day of my sisters school with the smilebooth in a room that was about to be full of screaming, excited 5th graders so I tried to put it out of my mind and enjoy the event.
The event ended and I checked my e-mail. I had an e-mail from my contractor for the store saying that he couldn't do a payment plan and I needed to pay him the remaining balance of my bill as soon as possible. All those feelings I tried to fight off during the event came crashing down.
I felt horrible so I went to my parents house. If my mom and dad weren't the people they are I can't even imagine where I would have ended up in life. Having the two people who raise you tell you that they believe in you is the ultimate pick me up. So the past two weeks have been a roller-coaster of emotions. The deal wasn't done and the move wasn't official so we were hoping and praying that we could stay in our spot and finish out our lease, so I tried to just continue on with business as usual. We put up new window displays and photos (that are totally awesome). I told the employees and some close friends about the situation and that we might have to move so they weren't caught as off guard as I was. One of the mall employees showed us the vacant spaces in the mall that we could potentially move to. It felt like I was in the waiting room, with the store sitting on lap.
I hate waiting for things. I am very impatient and the past two weeks have been so painful for me not knowing whether we are moving or staying or where we are moving to. So many questions that I didn't have answer to. I just wanted to control something and I couldn't.
Fast forward to today and a meeting I had with some of the park city staff.
"The deal is about to go through."-mall manager
"When will I have to move"-me
"As soon as they sign their lease we will give you a 30 day notice."-mall manager
And my thought "I wish I didn't own walk in love." slipped into my mind for the first time in the past 6 years. It felt wrong. It came and went and my mind immediately went to this post that I had been working on in my head called "Education, Execution and Dedication" Something I had been thinking about before I even found out that we had to move. Dedication is sometimes the hardest part of anything. It's the hardest part of my faith, my excercise routine, my diet, my relationships and my business.
When it is raining crap from the sky on your business life, will you be dedicated to it? Will you see it through? I am at that cross-roads today. Dedication can be summarized as the giving of oneself to some purpose. So for you future or potential small business owners out there make sure you are dedicated because at some point you are going to be pushed to the breaking point. I could throw in the towel, retreat from the store, sell everything online but I am dedicated to being in that mall, to growing walk in love. and to spreading the love of God through our shirts.
Even if you don't own a business or never plan to ask yourself if you are dedicated to your purpose? Even when it's raining crap.