1 Out Of 35,000

According to multiple sources on the Internet, the average amount of remotely conscious decisions an adult makes each day is about 35,000.

35,000 choices every single day!  That is a lot of freaking choices!  It's kind of hard to wrap your head around that number.  For example, this morning, I chose to shut my alarm off. I chose to sit up in bed. I chose to put my feet on the ground.  I chose to pick up June. I chose to say good morning to her.  I chose the amount of cream I put it my coffee.  I chose what music to listen to as I walked into work. And I will go on choosing things like that all day long...

35,000 choices is a lot to think about in one day, so I want to challenge you to just think about just one.

Just think about one choice that you will make today.  Think about the power that one choice can have.  Think about it's potential and awesomeness! Think about all the good you can do with that one choice.

Maybe that one choice is to smile at someone who looks like they are having a rough day.

Maybe it's buying the person behind you a cup of coffee.  

Maybe it's telling your husband or wife that you really love them or that they look beautiful or handsome.

Maybe that one choice is not post some disgruntled comment on Facebook or choosing not to argue with a friend.

Maybe that choice is to be silent and listen instead of always talking about everything.

Maybe that choice is to not look at porn.

Maybe that choice is to open the Bible and ask God to show Himself to you.

Maybe that choice is to eat a healthy lunch... instead of two Big Macs.

Maybe today is the day that you choose to listen to your parents the first time they ask you to do something, and not the 12th time.

Or maybe that choice is to tell your mom or dad that you love them.

Maybe it's to put your phone down while you have a conversation.

It's easy to be overwhelmed by 35,000 choices.  It's like looking at an entire forest and not being able to focus on a single tree.  But, if we ignore the forest for just a minute and study one tree, we will actually be able to see it.  We will see it's uniqueness, it's beauty and all it's intricate details.  will see where it starts and where it's headed.  We will see it's color, shape, size and texture.

Today will bring on a forest of choices. You can think about all the things you have to choose today and very easily decide to turn on auto-pilot and coast..  Instead, try to ignore the forest of choices and just look at one. Really think about what you can do with just one thoughtful choice.  Think about where it will start and where it could end.  Think about it's beauty and power. Think about all God can do with just one choice and then use it for His glory.  And maybe, just maybe, that will start you on a path to start thinking about more of your choices and what they can do.  Maybe today you just think about one, but tomorrow it's two and the next day three.  Maybe in a month you are thinking about 10 choices you make everyday.  This new way of choosing can start today by just thinking about just one.

Because, when you start to think about the choices you make, the better your choices will become. And the better they become, the you will start to see God do amazing things in your life and the lives of those around you. 

Today, use 1 of your 35,000 choices to do something awesome! One is all it will take to make a difference!

"Choose my instruction instead of silver, knowledge rather than choice gold." - Proverbs 8:10

Hey Married People! Go On More Walks!

Brooke and I go on 3-5 walks a week.  Depending on the day we will pick one of our loops which vary in distance and time.  Our longest loop is about five miles and our shortest is around a mile.  While walking my amazing wife and I will talk about EVERYTHING.

We walk and talk, talk and walk.  I wasn't a big walker before I got married.  I never saw a point of going on a walk unless it was utilitarian in nature.  If I was walking to get a candy bar then it was TOTALLY worth it, but a walk to just walk - no thanks.

Then Brooke and I started going on them and I realized that something was happening as we walked together.  First, I noticed that we were off our phones and away from screens so there weren't any distractions.  A distraction free environment with someone is becoming more and more difficult in our society.  Then, I noticed that our walks became about more than just chit chat.  Our walks became a safe place for us to vent about frustrations in our life, dream about things we never said out loud and open up about our struggles.  Our walks became precious to us and the more we go on them the more we open up and talk to each other.  And the more we talk to each other the stronger our marriage has become!

I sometimes feel like marriages fall in the crapper because of the "schedule" they get stuck in.

The schedule usually looks something like this - Get up, go to work, come home from work, eat dinner, work on something else, watch TV, go to bed.  Repeat 5 days a week.

There are times in that schedule to talk, but they are either rushed or full of distractions.  I've found that a simple walk eliminates all of that and gives you the ability to be a little more open, a little more real and a little more honest.  The longer you spend distraction free with your spouse the more likely you are to get to a real issue, problem or idea.

Last night Brooke read something online that really frustrated her and was feeling "swirly."  Feeling swirly is the worst.  It can really only be described by this emoji - 🌀.  So, I got June ready and we went on a walk.  As we walked she begin to express why what she read got to her and by the time we got home she was totally over it.  Surprisingly, on the walk I didn't do much talking about the issue and just tried to listen, which is really hard for me. I LOVE TALKING!  But, Brooke just needed to talk and if we stayed home she probably wouldn't have gotten to the truth of the issue that she needed to get to.  That would have lead to a whole night of swirliness and that is THE WORST!

Sometimes we expect really profound things to change our marriages.  We look for the hail mary when working the ball slowly up the field will do.  A walk is just that.  It isn't glamorous but it works.  It provides a distraction free space to be open, honest and real.  Isn't that what we wanted when we got married?  Someone to be open, honest and real with?  Let's start giving ourselves the space to do that and let's start with a few more walks!

June also loves walks!

10 STEPS TO FREAKIN' LOVE MONDAYS!

Did you know that if you want to do something every day of the week and you start it on Monday that you are 80% more likely to keep up with it?

Actually, I just made that statistic up, but I am pretty sure it would be true if there was a way to prove it.  Mondays are my favorite day of the week because on Monday I have the entire week ahead of me.  I literally have the most potential to have an awesome week on Monday.  I find that if I start well I will have a good week and if I have a good week I will have a good life! Therefore, Mondays are super important to me and I am totally on Team Monday!

If I eat healthy on Monday, I am more likely to eat healthy throughout the week.

If I exercise on Monday, I am more likely to exercise throughout the week.

If I spend time with Jesus on Monday, I am more likely to spend time with Him throughout the week.

If you are one of those people that say, "Ugh Mondays... <insert meme of cat unable to get out of bed>" STOP!  Mondays are freakin' great and the sooner you fall in love with them the sooner you will realize the potential of what an awesome Monday can do for your week and life!

Here are my 10 steps to help you FREAKIN' LOVE MONDAYS!

1. Try to enjoy them.

Do me a favor on a Monday. Just try to be positive about it. Don't wake up and grunt like your life is going to end.  Even if you have to force a smile on your face. I double dog dare you to just try to have little tiny bit of positivity about the day, even if you have to fake it at first.

2. Start them well.

Get up earlier than you normally would on a Monday. This way you can set yourself up well for the first day and in turn the entire week.  Mondays shouldn't be a day where you are rushing out the door. Give yourself enough time to have a good breakfast and enough time to get out of the house in a calm manner.  If you start your week off in a stressed-filled-panic-swirl-of-chaos how do you expect the rest of the days to turn out?

3. Protect them.

I rarely schedule meetings, lunches or anything else on that might disrupt my Monday.  They are valuable to me, and the success of the rest of my week, so I protect them.  I want to utilize every possible second of a Monday to maximize the start of my week!

4. Don't Let Monday Haters Get You Down!

If people in your office are talking about how tired they are, or how Mondays are such a bummer, you should hit them right back with pumped-up-positivity about how excited you are to get back into it! Talk about how the week is full of potential and how living out that potential starts on Monday! Enthusiasm is contagious and the sooner you join Team Monday, the sooner your office mates will join!

5. Don't start with E-mail.

I never start Monday with e-mail.  I always try to start with something that I am really excited about doing even if it's only for ten minutes.  In fact, today is Monday, so I am starting with this blog post because I was super excited about it when I had the idea last night!  Try to start your Monday workday with an aspect of your job that you really love.

6. Add Awesomeness.

If you love coffee, then Monday should be the day you treat yourself to an extra cup or a special kind.  If bagels are more your thing, then give yourself time on a Monday to swing by Panera.  If you start making Mondays special then, guess what?, they will actually start being special!

7. Add music.

Monday should be the day you have an killer playlist.  You should be singing Firework by Katy Perry as loud as you can in your car while you drive to work or school.  You should do whatever you can to fire yourself up for the day! I really like trying to find new music on Mondays because new music inspires me. Right now I am listening to a new band I found called The Shires.  They are pretty good and are doing exactly what I wanted them to - inspiring me!

8. Write down your goals for the week!

What do you want to do this week? What do you need to do this week?  Will it be a dreaming week or a grinding week or a combination of both?  Have goals because they will help you stay focused, engaged and excited!

9. Change your desktop or iPhone background.

Sometimes changing my desktop and iPhone background on Monday helps give it that little extra umph it needs.  It's a way to set the week apart.  Sometimes I try to find something really encouraging and inspiring for my background, and sometimes it's just a new photo of Brooke or June.  It depends on what I need that week. There is a site called Simple Desktops that has some really clean and simple backgrounds for your computer.  You can also use the VRSLY app to create inspiring wallpapers for your iPhone everyday!

10. Set yourself up for success.

Maybe you should clean your desk every Friday before you leave so when you come back in on Monday it is beautiful, clean and ready to go.  Or maybe it's doing the dishes every Sunday night so you don't wake up to a messy kitchen.  You gotta set yourself up to have an awesome start to your week, and sometimes that starts before the week even begins.

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You have a choice every single day.  You can choose to be a grump that no one really enjoys being around or you can choose to live with passion, energy and excitement.  

I hope you choose to live with passion - especially on a Monday.

End of Year Resolutions!

Let's end the year well! Time to make some end of year resolutions!

Posted by T.J. Mousetis on Friday, September 18, 2015

Am I Doing Enough?

I probably ask myself this question everyday and depending on my mood, feeling and general emotional state I have different answers.

Sometimes I believe I am and I feel like this...

And then there are days where I feel more like this....

Lately I have been asking this question about all areas of my life.

Am I doing enough at work?

Am I doing enough for Brooke?

Am I doing enough for June?

Am I doing enough to stay healthy and not gain 300 lbs because of my love for cheese?

Am I doing enough for people who are suffering?

Am I doing enough for my church?

Am I doing enough for Jesus?

Honestly, sometimes the answer is No.

I think we live in a feel-good, blow-smoke-up-your-butt, everyone is a winner society and most people would say,

"Oh of course you are doing enough.  Everyone is a winner!  Here is a participation trophy."

But sometimes the answer is just no!  No, you aren't doing enough so step it up.  Get your lazy butt off your chip covered couch and go out and make it happen!  Stop telling people about all the "dreaming" you've been doing lately and just start actually living. 

Below I will answer the questions I asked above.  Some of you will read this and think, Yes I am doing enough.  Good for you!  Keep it up!  Some of you will feel convicted and instead of getting mad at me for calling you out use it as a launching pad to get going in the right direction!  This post does not exist to make you feel guilty.  I hope it inspires you and gives you the kick in the butt wake up call you might need!

Are you doing enough at work? -Do you do things without being told? Are you working as hard as you can or just doing the bare minimum?  Are you making the most of everyday or just clock watching till you can go home?

Are you doing enough for your spouse? - If there are dishes in the sink or trash that can be taken out then the answer is probably no.

Are you doing enough for your kids? - Are you spending time with them without a screen?  Are you teaching them the things that they should learn from a parent?  Are you being an example in all areas of life because THEY ARE WATCHING YOU!

Are you doing enough to stay healthy? - Put down the extra cheese filled dough ball and WALK AWAY and while you are walking away, open the door and walk outside for a mile, maybe two.

Am I doing enough for people who are suffering? - My guess is that you have a few extra bucks you can donate to some awesome ministries that are saving lives all over the world.  It's hard to actually be hands on in this regard if you have other responsibilities, but you can help with your money.  Here are some organizations doing awesome things for people suffering around the world - Compassion International + Samaritans Purse

Am I doing enough for my church?  - If you haven't volunteered for anything then NO!  Get off your butt, take time out of your schedule and serve somewhere.  Pass out communion, direct traffic, sweep the sidewalk, lead high schoolers, just do something!

Am I doing enough for Jesus? - I struggle with this question because I sometimes feel like I should be preaching the gospel to anyone and everyone, but as I fall more in love with Jesus I have realized something.  He wants you where you are to do all you can for Him.  Sometimes that will be on a stage in front of thousands and sometimes it will be in an office in front of one or two people.  You can do enough for Jesus wherever you are.  Just listen, obey and when He calls - act.

Here is the ultimate test to see if you are doing enough....

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward.  It is the Lord Christ you are serving." - Colossians 3:23-24

If you can, in your heart of hearts, say yes to living by that verse than you are.  Work hard for the Lord in whatever you do!

10 Hard Steps to An Awesome Marriage (That are totally worth it)

I have an awesome marriage.  I love waking up and living everyday next to my beautiful wife, Brooke.  She is amazing.  My parents always comment on how our marriage is so strong.  They are sometimes shocked by how easy we make it look.  After I wrote the post on June's birth and all it taught me I started seeing comments pop up how the love Brooke and I have for each other is inspiring.  I appreciate all the love that post has received and instead of just saying thanks and moving on I thought I would share some marriage tips and how we love each other so well. This list is by no means exhaustive and marriage will take way more than 10 steps to be awesome, but hopefully this can be a launching pad to get you going in the right direction.

Here are my ten hard steps to an awesome marriage (that are totally worth it):

1. Realizing your spouse will not fix you.

If you have problems your spouse is not going to fix them.  Marriage will actually just bring all those problems to the surface.  If you have problems with intimacy you won't all of a sudden be cured the second you say. "I do."  If you are addicted to porn the day before you are married you will be addicted to porn the day after you are married.  If you aren't patient, you won't all of a sudden have the patience of a saint. Your spouse won't be able to fix those or any other problems you have.  Only falling into the arms of Jesus and following Him will fix those issues and putting them on your spouse to fix is like putting your spouse on the cross instead of Christ.  Only Jesus has the power to defeat sin and death and only He can help you fix your sin and death.  Do not expect your spouse to fix your problems.

2. Realizing you will not fix your spouse.

On the flip side we sometimes think that all the things we don't like about our fiancee will disappear when they become our husband or wife.  We think that we will be able to make "subtle" suggestions on how to change those things.  Well, most of the time those "subtle" suggestions don't work and then we start making obvious suggestions and then we are fighting about things we thought would be so easy to change.  When you say yes to marriage you are saying yes to all the wonderful things about your spouse but you are also saying yes to all the annoying things your spouse does.  Most likely you will have to live with some of those things till death do you part and if you can't, THEN DON'T MARRY THAT PERSON!

Things I do that annoy the snot out of Brooke (that I am trying to work on)

- Watch too much TV

- Never push in my chair

- Mumble

- Try to make her guess things instead of just telling her

3. Self improvement doesn't stop when you get married.

Sometimes I have to say to myself, "Hey fatty! Put down the twinkie, get off your butt and get back in shape."  If you can't do it for yourself then do it for your wife because she has to look at you, hug you and kiss you.  If there are things you do that bug your spouse, then stop doing them! I have a list of things that I know bother Brooke so I am working on them.  I stay in shape for Brooke.  I try to eat healthy for Brooke.  I want to be around as long as I can for Brooke.  Women live longer than men so I know I have to stay in shape so I can live just as long as her and we can die on the same day with a Chick-Fil-A sandwich in one hand and a Starbucks cup in the other.  We think that once marriage comes we can put on the sweatpants, sit on the couch and our spouse has to love us "through thick and thin."  Stop being so thick and realize that just because someone will always love you doesn't mean you have to be the worst possible version of yourself to love.  Self improvement will do more for your marriage than you realize and shouldn't stop when you say, "I do."

4. Choose not to fight.

Are you telling your kids to work out their problems with a conversation and then screaming in front of them at your spouse when something goes wrong? Are you using any excuse to go off and bring up all the other things you want to fight about?  Fighting is 100% your choice, so stop choosing it.  If that means you need to get out of the house and go on a run then so be it, but don't scream, don't fight, don't yell.  Work through things with love and grace.  Brooke and I have maybe had two really big fights in six years.  Could we have had more?  Absolutely, but we both know that we don't want to fight.  It's not fun and nobody wins.  So, we try to talk about things all the time before they turn into big fights.  You know why I have those four things listed about what I need to work on?  Because Brooke and I have talked about all of them and she has a list of things that bother me that she is working on.  Talking before can eliminate things to fight about.

About two weeks ago we were frustrated with each other and I could tell that we weren't going to be able to talk it out right then and there because I was mad.  So, I told her that I needed to go on a bike ride and clear my head.  So I got on my bike, listened to a sermon and 30 minutes later I was home and had totally let go of what I wanted to fight about.  Brooke didn't make me stick around so we could fight.  She knew what I needed to avoid a fight and let me go and do it.  Guess what? It worked!  Whenever you can, choose not to fight, because when a husband and wife fight, no one wins.

5. Give and receive alone time.

I am with Brooke 99% of the time and I love it.  We work together so we are around each other most of every single day.  It's awesome.  But sometimes I need some T.J. time and Brooke needs some Brooke time. It's important to be alone, even Jesus spent time alone.  I will go to the movies by myself from time to time or stay home and play video games while Brooke goes out with June.  Brooke will go thrifting or shopping while I stay home with June.  We need to give our spouse their own space at times to help them re-set and come back re-freshed and ready to love us even better than before.  You also have to be able to receive alone time without feeling guilty for taking it.  Say thank you when it is given and appreciate it!
 

6. The little things really matter.

Wash the dishes, do the laundry, pick up the living room, clean the windows, sweep the porch.  Am I listing chores?  Absolutely!  Husbands if you do these things for your wife without asking she will love you well and you might even get lucky tonight.  Do I need to say anymore? But seriously, do chores because you want to show your husband or wife you love them!

7. Public praise is awesome

If you follow me on any social media or have ever been around me you will quickly find out something about me.  I FREAKING LOVE BROOKE MOUSETIS!  I want to scream it every single way I can because I want everyone, including Brooke to know!  We love when people tell us they love us and we love it when people tell others they love us.  So, let's do it!  Just like I use every way I can to tell people about the love of Jesus I will use every single way to tell people I love my wife.  That makes her feel loved and it would probably make your spouse feel loved.  I love when I see husbands or wives post about their spouse on social media.  It's so sweet and loving and awesome.  So do it more.  Take a break from this post right now and post a photo of your spouse to Instagram and tell them why you love them so much!  Tag me in it so I can feel awesome about your love for each other!

And if you aren't a social media person there are still plenty of ways to publicly praise your spouse.  When ever I have a conversation with someone and they are dogging on their wife or husband I try to turn the conversation around.  I usually ask, "Well, what do you love about them?"  That way the person is forced to publicly praise and acknowledge what they love about their spouse.

8. Be honest

This is sometimes the hardest thing to do.  It's hard to be honest and loving at times but it is so needed for a healthy, flourishing marriage.  If I am being an unloving jerk face moron I need Brooke to tell me.  If Brooke is being a butt face jones then I need to tell her.  Sometimes those conversations are hard but after they happen we are ALWAYS in a better place.  Staying quiet in your marriage and letting things fester is like rust on metal.  It will only get worse and slowly destroy and erode what's there.  We must must must use our words with love and talk about the hard things with our spouse. Honesty shouldn't just be the best policy it should be the only policy when it comes to wedded bliss!

9. Love Favors

I invited "love favors" in our first year of marriage and it might be the greatest idea I have ever had.

Here are the simple rules to love favors:

1. You each have one love favor a day and they do not transfer.

2. When you ask for your love favor you can ask for anything.

3. Your spouse has to say, "yes" and they have to do what you ask right away.

Brooke and I have asked anything from getting a drink from the fridge to running all the way to the grocery store.  Sometimes we both use ours in a day and sometimes we don't.  But as we've used "love favors" over the years we've started to notice something.  It's created a "Yes and act" mentality to our marriage.  We now just say yes to each other more and more through out the day because of love favors and we don't just say yes, but we act!  Sometimes the simplest things can have the most profound effect on us and that's what love favors did to our marriage.

10. End with Jesus

This is my favorite phrase in the world.  I think we can start anywhere in life and we can end with Jesus.  Your marriage is the same way.  You two might have started off rocking, volatile and intense but even you, with open hearts, can navigate rough waters and end with the loving grace of Jesus.  We should always be pushing to being more like our loving Savior.  I, as a husband, will be the best husband when I walk hand in hand with Jesus.  Brooke, as a wife, is the same way.  We are only able to love each other with an intense, amazing love because we have loved and been loved by the most amazing love through Jesus.  The only fairy tale part of our marriage is that Jesus stepped into our lives and saved them. He can do the same to you and He will lead you to being the best husband or wife you could ever be.

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Those are 10 tips to a better marriage.  They will not always be easy but they will be worth it because having a good marriage is totally worth doing whatever you can. We must constantly choose to think of our spouse with love and grace.  We must not become bitter, jealous or angry. We must clothe ourselves with love so that we respond to things appropriately and accurately!  

We must realize that marriage will be rough at times but we can limit those rough times by not being foolish with our actions and words. We can choose joy over frustration, passion over apathy, excitement over grumpiness, love over hate and our spouse over ourself.