Education, Execution and Dedication (with some crying mixed in)

I was writing a post called with this same title and just recently added "with some crying mixed in" after certain events that have happened in the past 2 1/2 weeks.  This is my advice to all the aspiring small business owners out there. Education : When I look back on the history of walk in love. and Brooke Courtney Photography (the two buisnesses my wife and I own) this is the step that I really wish I would have used more.  If you are out there thinking that "all you need is a website or a camera" and then I will make tons of money you couldn't be more wrong.  Those two things will help you make money but they are not the answer to the question "How do I get started?"

The answer to that questions is education.  I don't mean go and get a business degree or anyhing like that.  I don't have a business degree. It just means that before you take the plunge into the small business world make sure you are educated on your field of interest.  When I started selling shirts I started with these terrible Gildan shirts that were so ugly and uncomfortable.  I just wanted to sell shirts so it's the first one I picked out.  Looking back I wish I would have educated myself on the styles, builds and brands of blank shirts out there.  Instead I jumped in thinking "it's just a t-shirt."  So often I see friends and other aspiring small business owners skip this education step thinking, "if they can do it so can I."  If you educate yourself on what you want to do, whether it's photography, design, clothing or selling sports memorabilia you are instantly giving yourself a leg up on all the people who are just starting with no thought at all.  I wish I could go back sometimes and start walk in love. with more education.

Also, ask for help!  There is so much knowledge at our fingertips with the internet and there are so many good business men and women out there that are willing to share their story with you.  Brooke and I decided very early on that we weren't going to hoard our secrets.  We love helping aspiring business owners grow and mature with what we've learned over the years (mostly from mistakes.)  Also if you are really serious about going into business for yourself read the book "Crush it" by Gary Vaynerkchuk

Execution: After you are done educating your pants off you better bring it.  Owning, running and growing a small business takes execution.  Don't expect to open the web store or launch your website and watch your bank account rise without doing anything.  Get ready to work and work hard.  I get so tired of people expecting everything without doing anything.  As I grow in business I am finding that the most important place to execute is in giving your clients the best experience out there.  When people come into the store I want them to feel welcomed and appreciated.  I want our employees to smile, joke with and make every customer feel welcomed.  I also tell them in the same breathe not to be creepers and to just let the customers shop.  With photography I want our clients to feel comfortable and happy during our sessions.  I want to be able to bring the stress down of a wedding day and not add to it.  I am so often sickened by poor customer service to the point where I will not shop in certain places.  Give your customers the greatest experience and you will create brand loyalty and word of mouth advertising, both of which cannot be bought.  I am just highlighting customer services, but execution is crucial in every part of your business, but they all have their roots in giving your customers the best experience out there!

Dedication: For the first time in my life I had the thought "I wish I didn't own walk in love."  For the context of this I will backtrack about 5 months.

When Brooke and I were looking into an inline store at the mall we spoke to the women that we've dealt with in the past concerning the kiosk.  We knew the space we wanted and we started working out the details.  Now when you are a small independent store in a mall with larger chains you don't get the same deals that they do, mostly because malls want the big brands over the little guys, which is understandable because they do so much more revenue.   Anyway, our store space was leased to us a temporary tenant, which means that we have a year lease but if a permanent tenant (5 year lease/big brand name) wants the space we will be relocated.  So there was  risk when taking the space we did but we felt pretty secure because the mall assured us that no one was interested and the space had basically been vacant for 2 years.  We felt safe taking the risk and investing money into the space.  It was either take the risk or not open a store at all because we didn't have enough sales history to become a permanent tenant right off the bat.

About 2 weeks ago I received a call from the mall manager telling me that there was a permanent tenant interested in the space and it looked like we were going to have to be relocated.

It felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach as hard as they could.  I felt sick.  I felt like my legs had been kicked out from under me and I was falling.  It was one of the worst conversations I have ever been a part of.  I thought about all the time and energy we had invested in the spot we had.  I thought about the fact that we would have to do that again at our new location.  I thought about the investment that I would lose.  Brooke and I thought we would go under before we were moved.  It didn't even feel like a possibility while we were working out the details of the lease.  I knew it was in there but it just felt like it wasn't possible.  Like I know people get hit by lightning but I don't go around worrying about getting hit while I am outside.  I felt like I was losing so much.  I felt betrayed by the mall.  I was mad, I was angry.  Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) I was at the last day of my sisters school with the smilebooth in a room that was about to be full of screaming, excited 5th graders so I tried to put it out of my mind and enjoy the event.

The event ended and I checked my e-mail.  I had an e-mail from my contractor for the store saying that he couldn't do a payment plan and I needed to pay him the remaining balance of my bill as soon as possible.  All those feelings I tried to fight off during the event came crashing down.

I felt horrible so I went to my parents house.  If my mom and dad weren't the people they are I can't even imagine where I would have ended up in life.  Having the two people who raise you tell you that they believe in you is the ultimate pick me up.  So the past two weeks have been a roller-coaster of emotions.  The deal wasn't done and the move wasn't official so we were hoping and praying that we could stay in our spot and finish out our lease, so I tried to just continue on with business as usual.  We put up new window displays and photos (that are totally awesome).  I told the employees and some close friends about the situation and that we might have to move so they weren't caught as off guard as I was.  One of the mall employees showed us the vacant spaces in the mall that we could potentially move to.  It felt like I was in the waiting room, with the store sitting on lap.

I hate waiting for things.  I am very impatient and the past two weeks have been so painful for me not knowing whether we are moving or staying or where we are moving to.  So many questions that I didn't have answer to.  I just wanted to control something and I couldn't.

Fast forward to today and a meeting I had with some of the park city staff.

"The deal is about to go through."-mall manager

"When will I have to move"-me

"As soon as they sign their lease we will give you a 30 day notice."-mall manager

And my thought "I wish I didn't own walk in love." slipped into my mind for the first time in the past 6 years.  It felt wrong.  It came and went and my mind immediately went to this post that I had been working on in my head called "Education, Execution and Dedication"  Something I had been thinking about before I even found out that we had to move.  Dedication is sometimes the hardest part of anything.  It's the hardest part of my faith, my excercise routine, my diet, my relationships and my business.

When it is raining crap from the sky on your business life, will you be dedicated to it?  Will you see it through?  I am at that cross-roads today.  Dedication can be summarized as the giving of oneself to some purpose.  So for you future or potential small business owners out there make sure you are dedicated because at some point you are going to be pushed to the breaking point.  I could throw in the towel, retreat from the store, sell everything online but I am dedicated to being in that mall, to growing walk in love. and to spreading the love of God through our shirts.

Even if you don't own a business or never plan to ask yourself if you are dedicated to your purpose?  Even when it's raining crap.

Some Life Rules by Bill Gates

So my Dad is an e-mail forwarder.  He is always sending me things that I usually browse through and delete but he sent me this one and I thought it was awesome. Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about eleven (11) things they did not and will not learn in school.  He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2: The world doesn't care about your self-esteem.  The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: They called it opportunity. Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them. Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were.  So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room. Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. *This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life. Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF.

*Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs. Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

 

but I love you

This is probably the first easter in my life that I didn't go to church.  Brooke and I decided last night that instead of going to church this morning we would just spend sometime together.  I usually wake up before Brooke so this morning instead of getting up and feeding the cats and starting my day, I just laid in bed and looked out the sliver of window that the blinds were not covering and started thinking of the love that God has for me and so many others not in church on this easter sunday.  I wonder what his thoughts are about us while we lay in bed. I babysit my niece from time to time and I have this very vivid memory of her sleeping.  She was laying in her pack in play off centered, uncovered, and all sweaty.  I am only her uncle but I remember thinking that the love I have for this sweating baby is so extreme and she doesn't even really know me.  Her mind is undeveloped, she can barely talk or walk but I love her.  She cries over stupid things like food and naps and falling down but I love her.  She can't spell or write or read or move gracefully or sing but I love her.

While I was thinking of this seemingly insignificant memory of my niece I felt God speak these things to my heart.

You are small, weak and sinful but I love you.

You are easily frustrated, small-minded and petty but I love you.

You are not smart, slow to learn and overly confident but I love you.

You barely know me, do stupid things and worry too much but I love you.

Your heart is often cold and full of hate but I love you.

You don't listen to me all the time but I love you.

I know everything about you and I love you.

You are mine because I love you.

So whether you spent easter morning in church or watching youtube videos in bed with your wife may those words speak to you and may you know that even through all your faults and insecurities there is a God and he is saying, "I love you."

Are you worried?

Our store opens in 17 Days, 23 Hours, 7 Minutes and 43 Seconds. I've never opened a store before. We've had the kiosk a couple of years in a row now so I am not totally oblivious to everything that goes into it but a store is a lot bigger than a kiosk, a lot bigger. With a store you have to deal with construction and painting and shelving and floor and bags and more employees and scheduling and applications and...and...and...and....breathe....deep, deep breaths. Basically it's an overwhelming task. The other night I was sitting on the couch with my sister Sam and she loves when I fill her in on the store and our businesses so she always asks a lot of questions. Our conversation went like this:

Sam - When will all the shirts get here? I can help you fold, I am a really good folder T.J. - Hopefully they will get here the 25th of April, but it will probably be more like the 28th or 29th. Sam- Don't you open the 30th? T.J. - Yes. Sam- Aren't you worried?

That is such a key question at the forefront of my mind right now. "Are you worried?"

Worry and fear are such easy things to get lost in. They are two reasons that people don't do anything with their lives. If you let fear and worry totally consume and control you, your life will be meaningless. Our answer to the questions "Are you worried?" isn't just a question you need to think about when taking a business risk or big decision, it's a stance you take toward life.

I am not worried about the store. I could easily slip into a panic that could consume my thoughts and actions and the people around me but I have made the decision not to. I decided early in the store process to trust God. It's not an easy decision to live by but it's the only decision that will work. If you let fear and worry consume your thoughts, actions and words you will paralyze yourself to act out of fear.

Brooke and I have a really good friend that is only 15 years old. She seems more like 20 but she is only 15 and the reason that we are so fond of her is because she is fearless. She loves photography and wants to become a great photographer, so you know what she does?   She takes her camera out and shoots as many photos as she can of whoever will let her. Most new photographers are so scared of looking stupid that they never take any risks and try something new out of fear of looking stupid. So theses photographers slip into this "normal" way of shooting everything and become generic and plain while people like our friend have been out there trying and trying to come up with something new and inspiring. Now our friend might take 1000 stupid un-important photos, but then she could take 1 that could change the world, why? Because she's fearless. Now that's how I want to be. That's how I want to run my relationships and my business. I want to be fearless in the way I love people and customers. It may not be the way people have done it in the past but it's the way that I want to do it. I don't want to slip in this "business or life as usual" mindset because of fear and worry. I want worry and fear to take a back seat to ambition and faith and let God decide how far I can go because when we listen to fear and worry all we are doing is deciding how far we are going to go. Don't you think God might have bigger and better plans for our lives than we do?

Here are some awesome verses to read and post on your walls if you are constantly letting fear dictate your life:

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." 1 John 4:18

2010 : The best year of my life

2010 was the best year of my life. It was my first full year of self-employment, which meant that almost everyday this year I spent sitting 4 feet away from Brooke, my wonderful wife. We traveled to Las Vegas, Houston, Mexico, the beach, the mountains in Virginia and a ton of other places. We made huge investments into our businesses. We really started to settle into our house. We convinced our best friend to move to Lancaster. We became aunt and uncle for a second time. We took a lot of photos, sold a lot of shirts and spent hours laughing at our cats. Friends and family are always asking Brooke and I how things are going and I almost always answer the same way by saying, "Living the Dream." I say it partially seriously and partially joking because it's a kind of funny statement. As I take a retrospective look at the past year of my life I realize how silly that answer is because I could have never dreamed this life up. If you would have asked me even one year ago when I was getting ready to quit my job if I would have thought that this would be my life I probably would have believed 20% of it. I am amazed at the blessings that we've received this year. I am in awe of the wondrous love of God to fulfill our needs and bless us exceedingly more than we deserve. 2010 was amazing and I am grateful for all who contributed in ways both big and small. I am thankful for my wife who has pushed me this past year to dig deeper, think more and work harder to display the change that Christ has made in our life. I am thankful for my friend Jeff who has showed me how to love. I am thankful for Brooke's parents who have been a guide on how to love each other in the midst of stress and being self-employed. I am thankful for my parents who have believed in me through out this year in a very tangible way. Both Brooke's parents and mine are hard workers and we are so blessed to have been able to see that our entire lives and now apply it.

If every year can be like 2010 I would like to live till I am 200 years old. I am excited to get going on 2011. My hope is that it will be a year filled with the love of God and everything will fall as He sees fit.

Something is Missing.

This past week I was in Chicago for the Story Conference. It was a great conference and this isn't a post about all the stuff that I took away. I am not very good at recapping things. For me it was either good or bad. And Story was good. It was 5am on Saturday morning and we were packing up our stuff at the hotel to leave for the airport. I just got out of the shower and was about to put stuff in my hair. I always take off my wedding ring to do this. So, I took of my ring set it on the counter and put the stuff in my hair. I kept getting ready, got my bag, walked to the elevator, got in the van and headed to the airport. About half way to the airport I went to play with my ring with my thumb, like I do 100 times a day, but this time was a different. My ring wasn't there. It was still sitting on the counter in the hotel bathroom. Instantly I was overwhelmed by the "feeling." The "feeling" is when you know that you've made a mistake and you know that correcting it will take time and energy. The "feeling" when your stomach falls out and you want to swear. So without thinking I let out a gasp in the van. The guys immediately asked what was wrong and we called the hotel. I gave them my address to mail the ring back and the hotel said they would ship it right away. As I write this post I am wearing my wedding ring. Everything worked out. So, if you have the "feeling" thinking I lost my wedding ring, fear not, I have it back!

It took about 3 days to get my ring back. For three days I was ringless. Every couple of seconds I was going to re-adjust my ring and realizing it wasn't there. It was all I could think about it. I felt like everyone was staring at my hand. It was missing and I felt it. It was actually all I could feel. I didn't realize how much it had become a part of me for the past 16 months of my life. It really got me thinking about the idea of something missing. It is such a unique feeling that you can't describe until your in the midst of it. We were created to be filled with the spirit of God, but because of our broken world we all live with the feeling that something is missing. Jesus gives us the opportunity to be filled with his spirit and to eliminate that missing feeling. It seems so obvious to me that people in our world are looking for something to fill that void. We consume and consume all that we can to try and fill us and nothing ever seems to work. Feeling like something is missing is so distinct and overwhelming. It consumes our thoughts, our actions and everything we do. I don't know where you are while reading this, but if you feel like something is really missing, deep down within you, I want you to know that the only thing that can ever fill that is the Spirit of God. Maybe you've heard that before and have resentment toward the idea of God and Christ, but I urge you to take a personal journey into the gospels and find out who Christ is and what his promises can do for you.

I've had my ring back for over a week now, but I am so much more aware that it's there. I think there are seasons of our lives where we feel like God is missing, but are we aware when he's not? Are we noticing the beauty, grace and love he has filled our lives with? Or do we only notice when something is missing? I find myself appreciating my ring much more which has helped me appreciate my wife much more. I think in the same way we can realize how glorious God is and appreciate every aspect of life that he's given us a little more.