You Can Do It!

The last eight days have been crazy. Or shall I say, cray-cray. The walk in love. Christmas order has been trickling in, a dozen or so boxes a day, so naturally we had boxes on boxes that were filled with thousands of shirts that needed to be folded, counted, photographed and put away.  We had to clean the studio, keep up with orders, take care of June, love each other, eat something other than Saltines and raw almonds, all while Brooke was on voice rest might I add. (Many posts to come about that.)

What we didn't have was a lot of time to get all of this done.  We had six days and a deadline of an event we were hosting with NFL WR David Nelson, founder of I'M ME - an organization trying to end the orphan cycle around the world.  Long story short - the event was amazing and you should definitely take some time and see if you can get involved in what they are doing!

But, anyway, six days before the event the studio looked like this...

Click image to enlarge the MADNESS!

As you can see we had a lot to take care of.  Boxes and chaos around every corner.  Some of you might be having a panic attack just looking at this photo. Well let me add to that panic by saying that what you can't see even in the photo above is all of the bags of trash and boxes already taken out to the dumpster, and the back room/closet equally shoved full of mess.

Here is what I continue to learn while running and working on walk in love.  We can do it.  We will get it done.  We can work hard and take care of the chaos.

And so, this is what I want to tell you today.  You can do it!  You can do the hard things in life.  You can do the things that seem impossible and overwhelming.  Will doing those things happen in one fell swoop?  Will you be able to snap your fingers and finish them?  Absolutely not!  And that is not how we took care of the studio.  We didn’t snap our fingers, hang out for five days and have the event.  We worked, we labored and we gave our time and energy.

We took it one box at a time.

And man oh man that is life! Isn't it?!  There are times in life when all we can do is take it one box at a time.  We have to pick it up, open it, take everything out, examine the contents, and deal with it.  Sometimes the boxes are light and filled with cotton candy and gummy bears.  I love those boxes!  But sometimes they are horribly heavy, gross boxes, filled with snakes or spiders or crap.  Those boxes aren’t as much fun.

But to clean up your life you can’t leave a single box unpacked. So often we, as humans, do that.  I know too many men who have such great lives, but they have a box tucked away in the corner filled with all the lust in the world.  It’s there because they are afraid to open and unpack it.  They are afraid to deal with the contents.  There are people who have boxes that are covered in dust and cobwebs, because they refuse to look at their past and deal with things.  They have those boxes under lock and key because they refuse to let them go.  They want to hold onto that stuff until the day they die.

We all have boxes of crap that we don’t want to deal with and if we keep letting them stack up your life might end up looking like that photo of the studio.  CHAOS. It’s very difficult to work in a studio, or a life, that looks like that.  It’s hard to get around, it’s hard to stay focused and it’s hard to do anything productive.  I don’t want to be at the studio when it looks like that.  I don’t feel creative, inspired or very passionate at all!

It’s the same way when we have so much crap in our lives. We are so bogged down that our lives are filled with apathy, depression and anxiety.  We aren’t living the full and free lives we were created for.

But the boxes aren’t going anywhere until you deal with them.

So this week in the studio, that’s what we did.  We took care of the boxes one at a time.  Open, unpack, fold, put away.  Over and over again.  There was nothing glamorous about our jobs this week.  It was monotonous, grunt work.

And after a few days the studio looked like this…

Because when we work on things progress comes.  It’s when we ignore things that we stay in exactly the same place - usually a place we don’t want to be, because I don’t know about you, but I always want to become better and closer to God, and that is going to take a lot of work and even more grace.

Something else really cool happened this week.  We had help.

That’s what you will need, too, to deal with your boxes - help.  Whether it’s someone to listen to you or hold you accountable.  You will need help.  Reach out to someone and ask them to help you unpack the boxes in your life.  Talk to your pastor or find a mentor.

We didn’t take on the studio mess by ourselves because it was too much for us to handle.  We had help and we are so thankful for that help. When you need help sometimes the first step to attacking a box could be asking for help. Start there.

All week I was reminded by a verse in the Bible that says, "For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:30).  I love the way the message bible translation says it - “I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

If we walk hand in hand with Jesus He will deal with the root of the boxes.  He will touch our hearts and souls and obliterate some of the boxes that we thought would never move.  He brings dead things to life, He heals, forgives and covers us with grace upon grace.  A few boxes are nothing for Him.  When we walk with Him we end up living “freely and lightly.”  I LOVE THAT!  I want that life.  I don’t want to feel like a cluttered studio that takes the wind out of my sails.  I want to live freely and lightly.  And I realize over and over again that it won’t happen unless I am dealing with the things boxed away in my heart over and over again.  I must look to Jesus daily to help bring those dusty boxes to light, empty them and fill them back up with His goodness.

So if you are reading this and thinking, man I have a lot of boxes to deal with.  I know.  I am right there with you, but I know that as I walk with Jesus I get closer and closer to dealing with them.

And I know if I can keep going my heart will end up looking like this….

9 Tips For New Dads

June is nine months old today!  And it's awesome!  I am definitely not one of those parents who say things like, "I wish you could stay this small forever."  I love that June is growing and developing and it seems like each month she gets older is my new favorite month of her existence.

I received an e-mail from someone the other day asking me if I had any tips for a soon-to-be dad. He said he read my post on marriage and was wondering if I had any tips for fatherhood.  He explained that he was pretty nervous about the whole thing. So this post is for him, other soon-to-be-Dad's and even "old dads", listing nine things I've learned from my little girl in the last nine months. Obviously this isn't an exhaustive list, but it is what I have found to be helpful.  I am also going to include my nine favorite photos of June in the post, one for each point! Because she's so stinking cute.

1. YOUR MARRIAGE IS AND WILL ALWAYS BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR KIDS.

If you love your wife well, you will love your kids well.  It would be very easy for me to wrap up my whole identity in being a dad.  Kids come in like thunder and totally rock your world.  They take time, energy, patience, endurance and so much more, all in the best way of course!  It would be really easy for both Brooke and I to make our lives and identity all about being parents, all while sacrificing what it means to be a good husband or wife.  Whenever I come home from work, with Brooke and June waiting for me, I usually say something like, "There are the number 1 and 2 ladies in my life."  I want Brooke to know that our marriage and relationship is always a top priority for me and I want June to know that too.  If I can love Brooke well I will give June a living example for how she should be treated by her future husband.  If I can love Brooke well I end up being a better dad because I am serving the whole family, not just part of it.  Don't let your kids become an idol in your marriage.  Don't let them dominate your lives.  Set aside time to talk, enjoy and nurture each other outside of being parents.  June is alive because Brooke and I love each other.  She will grow up well if we continue to love each other well, and that's why I believe marriage is always more important than kids.

2. GET YOUR POM-POMS OUT.

The labor and delivery of a baby is the craziest thing in the world.  It is so intense, hard and just incredible, but the intensity of motherhood doesn't stop when the baby comes out.  There is recovery, the difficulty of breastfeeding, living without as much sleep and so on.  I found myself on the sidelines a lot, by default, in those first few weeks.  I couldn't feed June because, well, I can't lactate!  I felt helpless at times, but Brooke said the best thing I could do was encourage her, tell her she is doing a good job and that we will make it.  That's what you will need to do.  Get out your pom-poms and start cheering on the woman you love.  Tell her she is doing an amazing job, that she is beautiful and that she is a great mother.  Remember that one of you just pushed a baby out of your privates and it was FREAKING HARD.  Be filled with compassion toward your wife, serve her, love her and do all you can to make her life easier.  Brooke was on bedrest for the first two weeks of June's life and I had a severely sprained ankle.  We were a hot mess and our lives could have been even worse if I hadn't made a point to be the encourager.  Be an encourager at all times, but ESPECIALLY at the beginning of your journey as parents.

3. CONSIDER IT ALL JOY.

In the first couple of months of being a dad you will be tired, you will get crapped on, you will get peed on, you will get up in the middle of the night, you will have to stop watching TV to help, you will have to wash dishes, do laundry, clean clothes, clean floors, go out for diapers and so many other things.  Most people love complaining about all these things, but I think what has changed my role as dad is to have the mindset that it is all joy!  In the book of James it says, " Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds"  I don't know about you but it was definitely a trial the first time poop ended up in my hair and on my hands.  It is so easy to have a negative attitude about some of the aspects of fatherhood, but why?  It's not going to help you, it's not going to help your wife, and do you really want your little one being raised to see things so negatively?  People always ask if June is "always that happy?", and for the most part, she is.  It might just be her natural personality, I am hopeful that is part of it, but it also might be that since she was born her mother and I have considered every aspect of her a joy, whether it's smiles or giggles or poops that make your eyes water.

4. TAKE THE PHOTO AND THEN GET OFF YOUR PHONE.

I love taking pictures of June, mostly because she is such a cheese ball and smiles for all of them.  I don't, however, want June's memories of her dad to be my face behind the glow of an iPhone screen.  I want her to experience me, all-in, with all my attention.  I don't want to be half in when I am interacting with my beautiful daughter.  Do I always get this right?  No, and there are definitely times when Brooke has to tell me to get off my phone or when I have to remind myself to put it down and be all in.  In fact, June has made me realize how often I check it and I am really making an effort to check it less.  I have turned off all notifications and tell Brooke that she can tell me to put it down at anytime.  I want to be an all in dad and I can't do that if I am checking my phone all the time.

5. WHO CARES WHAT PEOPLE THINK IN PUBLIC?

Brooke will roll her eyes at me from time to time as I am sprinting up and down the Target aisles just to get June to laugh.  But honestly, do whatever you can to bring joy to your kids hearts and if that means being a little silly in public, then so be it.  I would so much rather have a bunch of happy kids with me in public because I am a goofball instead of sad kids in public.  Being a dad has helped me strip away another layer of caring so much about what people might think of me. And it's fantastic.  I believe that our heavenly father wants to love us extravagantly.  I want to be that type of dad.

6. GIVE YOUR WIFE ALONE TIME.

I try to make it a point to offer Brooke time to be by herself so her identity isn't solely wrapped up in being a mom.  I want her to feel normal and enjoy the things that she enjoyed before June.  I try to watch June whenever I can so she can go to Target or Starbucks (really only the two places we go besides our studio).  And when I feel like Brooke wants to be at home by herself to work on a house project, I will try to take June to my parents or on a few errands.  I actually love taking June to run errands because people are SOOO much nicer to you when you have an adorable baby with you.  If you have ever missed the return/exchange deadline on something, take your baby with you! 😂  Make time for your wife to be by herself whenever you can.  If you aren't good at picking up the signals your wife is throwing down, just ask her to ask for alone time, and when she does, oblige!

7. BE PREPARED!

If your baby is coming soon and you have no idea what to expect in the delivery room I would seriously start to look into it.  Brooke and I decided to go the unmedicated route for delivery and it was intense.  If I hadn't known, at least a little bit, of what was coming I wouldn't have been able to be there for Brooke like she needed me.  Even if the unmedicated way isn't for you be prepared for what to expect.  Find out the steps and processes of what is going to happen in the delivery room.  It's like the wild west and being mentally prepared will help you know what to do for your wife.  You will be able to support and love her better if you are prepared.

8. GET THAT BABY ON A SCHEDULE!

We read the book that millions of parents have read - On Becoming Baby Wise.  Literally my favorite book of all time, outside the Bible.  It gives you an idea of what to expect, how to schedule feedings and get your baby sleeping through the night as soon as possible.  Can I get an amen?  I don't know about you, but I love sleeping and after a few weeks of getting up every night I was starting to feel and look crazy.  I don't know how long it would have taken June to naturally sleep through the night, but with the Baby Wise method she was sleeping through the night at 8 weeks and it was amazing!!  I can not recommend reading BABY WISE enough.  Do it!  Just buy it and read it.  You will not regret it.  Also, there will be "Baby Wise haters" out there so get ready for them.  But, I am definitely not one of them.  Who knows... I might even get a  Baby Wise tattoo on my butt.

9. END WITH JESUS.

Like all of my list posts, I like to end by telling you to end with Jesus.  In the gospel Jesus gives us the tools we need to be great dads.  We need to love relentlessly through all struggles and pain.  We need to serve our wives like Jesus served the church.  We need to teach our kids who God is and how He loves them so much.  We will all fall short as fathers, but God never will.  He will be enough for little June like He is enough for Brooke and I.  I will fall short at being a dad in a lot of ways, but my hope and prayer is that I will be able to point June toward Jesus so she can follow Him with passion, purpose and excitement!

BONUS - APPS I USE A LOT AS A DAD

1.  Baby Bundle - This app allows you to track feedings, diaper changes, etc.  You may think that stuff is easy to remember but after a few nights of not sleeping enough your brain starts to forget. EVERYTHING.

2. 1 Second Every Day - Allows you to easily montage one second of video every single day.  You will probably find yourself watching these videos after she goes to bed.

3. VSCO Cam/Grid - I decided to upload all my photos of June to my VSCO grid so I could have one place on the web to go to and see them all.  You can see them all here - http://tjmousetis.vsco.co/grid/1

I have only been a dad for nine months, but I hope what my advice helps all dads of all ages out there.  I know that fatherhood will bring all sorts of unexpected turns, twists and outcomes.  I know that at times it will be hard and frustrating, but I also know that it is all totally worth it.  I know that with Jesus I can consider it all joy because my hope is in Him and because of that all the rest of life is bonus.  If you try to love your children like God loves his, I think you'll do a great job!

Living The Dream Every Single Day

The new walk in love. collection is here.  It's called Thy Kingdom Come and we are pumped about it!  This was the first collection in a while that we designed in house.  The designs aren't elaborate by any means, but just really simple and bold statements that we believe reflect scripture and the attitudes Christians hope to live by.

One phrase we have that might catch people off guard or make them turn their heads is - "Living The Dream Every Single Day."

This is usually the answer I give to people who ask me, "What have you been up to lately?" or "How are things going?"

And this statement literally has nothing to do with status, money, followers, likes or any outside factor.  The reason I am living the dream every single day is because every day I get to wake up and live with Jesus.  The giver of life has given me life and made me new and that is the dream, day in and day out.

You don't have to look far to find people with "everything" who are miserable, depressed, alone and longing for something more.  Think about all the celebrities who take their lives when to the outside world they have everything they would ever need.  It is always so sad to me because I know that feeling.  I know feeling lost, confused and wandering without Jesus.  Trying to fulfill that loneliness with anything and everything only to find it getting bigger, larger and more prevalent in my life.  It wasn't fulfilled until I truly surrendered all that I am to Jesus.

I don't know if you read this blog because you want business advice, marriage advice or life advice, but I do know that I could give you all the great advice in the world and it would fall short to this - only Jesus will fill the emptiness inside of you.  Only He will give you life and life to the full.  Only He will restore you and make you new.  Only He will give you the ability to pick your head off the pillow and live the dream every single day, regardless of how bad your migraine is or how crappy your body feels.  Living with Jesus is the dream, every single day.

Throw Away All The Things!

Two weeks ago we had a yard sale.  Well, technically we had another Hipster Yard Sale.  A Hipster Yard Sale is like a normal yard sale except 90% of the people who come are wearing skinny jeans and buying previously loved walk in love. shirts.  These sales are awesome and we've had a bunch of them over the years.

But, this Hipster Yard Sale was different than previous ones.  It might have looked the same  - lots of stuff on tables, from Brooke and I, for people to come and buy.  Lots of walk in love. shirts, sweatshirts, housewares and knick-knacks.

To really see the difference you would have had to rewind about two months before the yard sale actually happened.  2015 has been a pretty incredible year for Brooke and I and it's not even over!  Our daughter June made her entrance into this big , beautiful world in February and ever since that moment we've been making lots of big life changes.  Just to name a few, we finally decided to end our seven year career of shooting weddings and focus solely on walk in love.  We decided to try to cut back on the amount of media, Netflix and TV we watch so we can have family time.  And about two months ago, we decided that we didn't need all the stuff we had.

So, we started cleaning it out.  And I don't mean that we took 3 or 4 old shirts that we didn't wear as much out of our closet.  We took 30-40 shirts out of our closet. Each.  We gutted our house, well mostly Brooke gutted it, but I was still kind of involved!  We just felt like, as followers of Jesus, we had too much stuff. And it's not that having "lots of stuff" makes you a bad Christian or anything of the sorts. But, for us, it was too much. It was taking up too much valued space in our little home, and even more valuable space in our hearts and minds. It needed to change.

We kept asking the question, if God calls us to move or to go somewhere or to do something radical, would we be ready?  Or would we be weighed down with all this stuff in our house?

Brooke and I aren't hoarders by any means and actually we are naturally pretty ruthless when it comes to cleaning things out.  We believe that the item is not the memory, but the memory is the memory. We can be pretty un-nostalgic while cleaning.  But, even with that attitude we felt like our house was always cluttered, shoved-full and wearing on us.

We kept saying to each other less stuff means more room for Jesus.  I know that might sound silly to you, but what if it's true?  What if Jesus calls us to a simple lifestyle because it will give Him more room to work and move in our lives.  I don't see any points in scripture where it says, "Make sure you hold onto all your crap with all your might because that's when God moves."  In fact the opposite is stated by Jesus when he tells the young ruler to "Go and sell all you possess and give to the poor."  Jesus is constantly talking about humility and He only ended with the clothes on His back when H

I once heard Frances Chan say something to the affect of that he is always so surprised that older people don't have less stuff.  He is shocked that when they are knowingly so close to death, that they are holding on to so many things from the earth.  

Shouldn't we be less attached to this world when we are so close to our actual home?

Imagine if we did the opposite.  Imagine if we constantly got rid of our excess, and then some, so that God could have more space in our lives.  What would that look like?

For about two weeks Brooke and I have been living with about 1/2 of the stuff that we use to have. (And we still have more to clean out!)  And guess what?  We don't miss any of it!  In fact, we are so happy that it is gone.  Our house, and in turn our lives, feel lighter, happier and actually fuller.  We feel freedom from stuff and a joy in knowing that our stuff doesn't define who we are, Jesus does.  Our house takes less time to clean, which gives us more time for Jesus, family and interacting.  Everything we actually use is so much easier to find, which removes a lot of frustration about where something is or where to put it away. We have room to display and look at the things that actually mean a lot to us.  It's so much more fun living in our house than it was two weeks because we have less, not more.

If I would have read a post about getting rid of my stuff even just a year ago, I would have become very defensive.  I would have justified to myself that I actually need everything I own and that I worked hard to buy all my things and they are mine.  I would have said that "I am not like the rich young ruler so Jesus can't be talking to me."  I am good with the amount I have.  I would have tried to justify myself while reading the entire post.

And maybe that is you right now.  Maybe you are reading this and thinking "Ugh, this T.J. guy is so dumb and I don't know how to even pronounce his last name... what does he know?  He makes it sound so easy.."

And for us it was probably easier than most because Brooke and I have always had a knack for cleaning out, but it still was hard at times.  But we kept coming back to this idea - Does this item define who I am or does Jesus?  If I lost this item, would I lose my identity? The answer is always a resounding, "NO!"  Your identity is in Jesus and if it's not, let's make that happen! (Put your trust in Him!)  And once Jesus takes care of who you are, your stuff matters a whole lot less.  Stuff is replaced by love, peace, joy and all the good things that come from God.

So, if you are arguing with me in your head, start small.  Just throw out (or donate) some stuff.  Start with really old clothes or something you really don't need. Donate it somewhere and see how that makes you feel.  My guess is a lot better.  Keep going, keep pushing.  End your life as a grayed-haired-Jesus-follower who has nothing but Jesus. And your clothes, because you can't walk around naked. We can't take anything with us to Heaven when we die.  And why would we even want to? Heaven has all we need. 

When I think about the end of my life I don't think that I want to end with a giant house, a boat and a gold toilet.  I think that I want to end knowing that I lived for Jesus and am ending with Him and Him alone.  Physically getting rid of my crap is helping me realize more and more that I don't need any of it.  I just need Jesus.  If my house burned down and my business went under, I would be okay.  I still have the Savior of the world, the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and end, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.  I have Jesus - and that is absolutely more than enough for me.

Brooke and I sorting our stuff at midnight the day before.

Brooke and I sorting our stuff at midnight the day before.

June was quite the star at the yard sale!

June was quite the star at the yard sale!